HOME
    Face-to-Face Therapy
    Telephone Therapy
    Couples Counselling
    Intensive Therapy
    Supervision
ARTICLE SERIES
    Social Networking: new
    Emotional First-Aid
    Feeling Depressed?
    Feeling Suicidal?
    Self-Esteem
    How is Your Self-Esteem?
    What is Integrative Therapy?
    Online Counselling - Safe?
    Stress - What is it?
    Stress Self-help
ABOUT ME, FEES & FAQs
WOULD THERAPY SUIT YOU? ON BEING REAL
THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH
SELF-HELP SHOP
ON A LIGHT NOTE
CONTACT ME
+44 (0)1993 878356
Disclaimer
Registered ©Deborah Ward 2007
Pages are best viewed with a cup of tea and an open heart.

Are You Feeling Suicidal?

Article by Deborah Ward, Psychotherapist
May 2006

Maybe you found this article because you are experiencing profound feelings of distress. Maybe it has gone beyond what you feel that you can endure. But you did find these words and that tells me you are looking for something. Maybe I can help provide a little reflection or pose some thoughts about suicide you hadn't considered.

It is not my place to judge you. From here I do not even know you. But if you are feeling so bad as to want to finish your life, what is clear is that you feel life is too much and that you can no longer cope. That does not make you bad or crazy. It makes you a person who is distressed and in need of understanding.

I do not consider it my business to tell you what is right or wrong. What I do feel I can offer is some insight I have gained from my experience of working with people who have felt suicidal or even attempted it.

Suicide is the most serious act you can carry out. It is forever. You cannot change it.

You can always change your life.

Have you really considered what suicide means? You may not actually want to die. You may be wanting something else, something different to what you are now experiencing and just think suicide will give you that. Many people seek suicide as way of gaining relief from something. They want to feel better. And the thinking stops there. Suicide will not grant you relief. Suicide will not make you 'feel better'. You will be dead. You will not feel the relief. You will not feel better.

You will never know how things might have changed with a little help and time.

There are many reasons why a person might comtemplate suicide. It is rash to generalise because for some it represents a wish to 'no longer feel unbearable feelingsl' while for others it may represent a profound sense of futility or 'what's the use'. These are all responses to how things seem at the moment.

There is a little story I would like to tell you. It isn't long.

The Golden Thread

A blind, old farmer and his son were going through hard times. The rains were scarce and the crops were poor. One morning the farmer woke to discover that his prized, fine horse had been stolen.

His neighbour said, "What a terrible thing to happen!".
The farmer said, "We will see".

A few days later there was a storm. The storm was harsh and the land so hardened that floods broke out. The floods were so severe that the stables were washed away.

And his neighbour said, "What a terrible thing to happen!".
The farmer said, "We will see.".

The flood worsened and became so bad that if his much-loved horse had been there, it would have drowned. A few days later the storm abated and the farmer received a call. The thief had been arrested and the much-loved horse found. Would he come collect it? The farmer was too old and blind to walk all that way, so sent his son instead.

And his neighbour said, "How wonderful they found your horse!".
The farmer said, "We will see.".

The horse had a tough time with the thief and was nervous. The son had a difficult time even getting near him. He finally managed to calm the horse enough to return to the village. At the last minute, the horse startled and threw the boy high in the air. The young man fell hard and broke his leg.

And his neighbour said, "What a terrible thing to happen!".
The farmer said, "We will see.".

A week later, war broke out and the military arrived in the village to draft all the young men. What no one yet knew was that the mission would fail and all the village's recruits would not survive.

The farmer's son had stayed home with his broken leg.
.

There was a Golden Thread running through this man's life. He had the experience and the wisdom to trust it was there even though he couldn't see it. He didn't draw his judgements from singular events. He watched the ebb and flow of life's events knowing it all was connected by a Golden Thread.

If you are seriously contemplating suicide, do you know with absolute certainty that you haven't lost sight of your Golden Thread?

Therefore, I ask you to wait before acting. The option will still be open next week, next month, next year. But meanwhile, maybe by talking to a therapist or reaching out to someone you might just catch sight of your Golden Thread.



© 2006. The above content is legally registered copyright of Deborah Ward. If anyone would like to republish the above article, please email me your request, where it will reside and your assurance of a link back to this website, and I'll send you a short bio you can use with it for your site.